Then in the early part of this journey of finding me, I got lost in love. At first it was a good lost. Giddy, happy, butterflies, can't wait to see the person, my life is perfect, "I've found the one" kind of lost. Quickly the being lost in love turned ugly, a dark jungle, that I slowly found my way out of. Learning each day how to be me, love me and accept me.
As this 2016 election season unfolded, I found myself in another precarious situation. I found myself hiding who I was in a different way. I thought that I had come full circle, but I have more to learn. Now I'm dealing with showing my conservative side to my "community". This is tough. Most are staunch liberals. I call myself a libertarian which is a huge change for me. There are still several conservative beliefs I hold currently. I have lesbian friends I hold dear and I support their opinions, even the ones I don't agree with, but, I fear they will never understand my stance. I guess understanding isn't necessary to love, but it's always been hard for me to believe if I was different I was still ok. I've struggled with being understood my whole life. My parents still don't understand the gay thing and now here I am feeling like I'm not being understood on my side of the fence. Even though it's hard, one has to be true to themselves no matter what. You must embrace your authentic self regardless of how difficult it may be.
We are all constantly changing and growing, I hope. I know I'm not who I was, even last week, because so many things in this life, should have a profound effect on you. I am still learning how to see through a less conservative lens. I am opening my mind to views and others experiences and trying to embrace how certain things make them feel. We should never stop being open to change. We should not live in a bubble. If you live in a bubble, never open to what others are saying or feeling, you will never grow. I don't want to be that person. That person only sees in black and white, they never put themselves in someone else's shoes or try to walk even a block in them.
We may seem so different on the outside, but we all have the same needs. The need to feel safe, to be loved, to be accepted, not just tolerated. Why do so many seem to have an innate sense of fear regarding people that are different and not like-minded. A friend recently shared with me that "you opened my eyes so much when you told me your story". This one small comment meant the world to me. It meant that at least one person came to understand where I was coming from and they were enlightened in some way.
Traci Davies
9/16
As this 2016 election season unfolded, I found myself in another precarious situation. I found myself hiding who I was in a different way. I thought that I had come full circle, but I have more to learn. Now I'm dealing with showing my conservative side to my "community". This is tough. Most are staunch liberals. I call myself a libertarian which is a huge change for me. There are still several conservative beliefs I hold currently. I have lesbian friends I hold dear and I support their opinions, even the ones I don't agree with, but, I fear they will never understand my stance. I guess understanding isn't necessary to love, but it's always been hard for me to believe if I was different I was still ok. I've struggled with being understood my whole life. My parents still don't understand the gay thing and now here I am feeling like I'm not being understood on my side of the fence. Even though it's hard, one has to be true to themselves no matter what. You must embrace your authentic self regardless of how difficult it may be.
We are all constantly changing and growing, I hope. I know I'm not who I was, even last week, because so many things in this life, should have a profound effect on you. I am still learning how to see through a less conservative lens. I am opening my mind to views and others experiences and trying to embrace how certain things make them feel. We should never stop being open to change. We should not live in a bubble. If you live in a bubble, never open to what others are saying or feeling, you will never grow. I don't want to be that person. That person only sees in black and white, they never put themselves in someone else's shoes or try to walk even a block in them.
We may seem so different on the outside, but we all have the same needs. The need to feel safe, to be loved, to be accepted, not just tolerated. Why do so many seem to have an innate sense of fear regarding people that are different and not like-minded. A friend recently shared with me that "you opened my eyes so much when you told me your story". This one small comment meant the world to me. It meant that at least one person came to understand where I was coming from and they were enlightened in some way.
Traci Davies
9/16
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