Un-Stuck

Four years later...

We are back in present day (2014)...fortunately, I can say that I've finally found myself in a place of acceptance regarding who I am.  I have my days, but more often than not, I am at peace now.  This didn't occur through magic.  This was a long, fought journey.  Lots of prayer, tears, searching for healing and not finding it (cause there is nothing to heal!), listening to not-so-loving words of those who meant well, losing "friends" along the way because of who I am and ultimately accepting the grace of my Father in Heaven.  I would never wish this emotional journey on anyone else cause there are some that never reach the other side.  According to the CDC "A nationally representative study of adolescents in grades 7–12 found that lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth were more than twice as likely to have attempted suicide as their heterosexual peers".  Such a heart breaking statistic.  No one chooses to feel this way or desire the same sex.  They may choose to embrace it as a lifestyle, but why wouldn't they??  Who wants to be alone.  Very few people desire true solidarity.   If the tables were turned and all the heterosexuals were told, you must be single and celibate, then they would know how it feels.  

We are told by married individuals that God is enough and you can find your contentment in Him.  I understand that, in a perfect world, maybe.  But, I am a human who desires to love, be loved, touch and someone to understand who I am.  Is that so wrong?  We all sin every day and yet some sin is ranked more wrong than others.   It says plainly in the bible that one should not divorce, unless it's as the result of adultery and yet it happens time and time again and no one places a scarlet letter on the forehead of these individuals.  I would say that is more of a choice than what I deal with on a daily basis.  You CHOSE to marry, then you CHOSE to divorce, despite a covenant made before God.  

I used to be one of the judgmental, black and white Christians.  Being gay has helped me to stop judging as much and led me to embrace people, because we all have some sin in our lives, we all struggle with a weakness.   I wouldn't change a thing so that I might not tend to legalism.  It's sad we often times must be laden with such a thorn in order to have the cataracts removed from our eyes.    

My hope is that we can all learn to love more and stop focusing on the legalistic aspects of Christianity...That is what Jesus would do.  

-Traci Davies